Just realized how much Richard Armitage’s Thorin reminds me of Gerard Butler as Attila The Hun and Beowulf. Both are gorgeous + bad ass Brits who look good in scruff and sporting ANY haircut.
FRERIN IS THAT YOU
Yes it is!
The Frerin Is Alive And Being Thorin’s Personal Pain In the Arse Headcanons
1. Of course, a list like this would not be complete without an answer to the question Who is the better looking brother? Dwalin has personally opined that both Durin brothers look like “tree-shagging Elf-spawn with barely a beard between them so the answer is moot” in which case, this will always devolve into a brawl because “our mother wouldn’t even dream of touching an Elf, you orc-spawned Fundinul!” Dis has declared that her brothers are both idiots. Balin has washed his hands of all of them.
2. In truth, Thorin simply rolls his eyes heavenwards and will openly ask Mahal Himself for heavenly strength. Frerin just offers a cocky grin and naturally asserts that he is the better looking brother, seeing as “Thorin here’s just naturally a grumpypuss all the time!”
3. If a Certain Hobbit, whose opinion is certainly Not Biased Nope Nope Nope, were to be asked, the answer is quite obvious. Yes, Frerin, Thorin is a Grumpypuss. He is also breathtakingly handsome when he forgets to be grumpy and actually smiles. In fact, said Smiles should really be re-classified as Weapons of Mass Destruction, as Hobbit Sensibilities and various forms of underwear turn tail and flee when said Smiles are aimed in their general direction.
4. The problem with having two Uncles who were, in their own right, the Original Terrors of Erebor, is that they are aware of any and all tricks and pranks that Fili and Kili might dream of and may have even been responsible for teaching the Young Terrors of Ered Luin a trick or two or three.
5. Nope, it was not Frerin who told little Gimli that a long time ago, Cousin Thorin had a wee crush on the Lady Galadriel, who had visited Erebor a time or two. And thus, little Gimli, who rather idolized his elder cousin and king, would follow in his footsteps and not actually outgrow the “Elf Phase” that most wee dwarf badgers went through.
6. Gloin swore that he’d have Frerin’s beard for this when little Gimli eventually charmed and made friends with that “poncy git Thranduil’s son!”
7. Frerin knew within a minute of meeting the fellow that he playfully referred to as “Thorin’s Hobbit” (even if said Hobbit huffed and originally protested he wasn’t Thorin’s anything and then relented when confronted with Thorin’s Patented Heartbroken Puppy Expression and would later claim Thorin as his Dwarf, please and thank you), that Bilbo Baggins was his brother’s One. Small, comely and sassy was exactly Thorin’s type after all. That didn’t stop Frerin from doing his brotherly duty and investigating whether or not Thorin’s feelings would be reciprocated. Frerin figured it all out immediately once he saw Bilbo’s reaction to Thorin’s Infamous Smiles of Mass Destruction.
8. Frerin’s favored weapons were the bow and twin axes. His chosen craft was actually engineering and he was responsible for ensuring that his family had a roof over their heads that wouldn’t collapse and a stronghold that would hold fast against attacks even by armies of Orcs. However, he spent a lot of time figuring out how to “Dragon-proof” their homes in Belegost because he’d be damned before he’d let another Dragon drive the Dwarves of the Sigin-tarâg away from their homes again. That meant he was quite, quite serious when he offered to make the improvements to Bag End.
9. Bilbo actually took Frerin up on that offer. And then set him loose upon Tookland and Buckland, who would appreciate his work even more.
10. It was said of Thrain’s sons that the eldest had magic in his voice and the youngest had the same in his fingers once a fiddle was placed in them. For a very long time, due to the various sorrows that their people and family had endured, Thorin could barely raise his voice in song. It was Frerin who coaxed the music back into his brother and the Song of the Misty Mountains, the same song that had captured the heart of one Bilbo Baggins, was one that they had both written both as a lament for what was lost and a hope for what may yet be reclaimed.